The Nature of Emotional Overwhelm
Let’s face it – emotional overwhelm is the result of our emotions being deeply intertwined with specific circumstances or situations. This connection often proves challenging to manage, leaving us feeling like we’re drowning in a sea of emotions, struggling to keep our heads above water. In simple terms, it’s as though our heartstrings are so entangled with a situation that we can’t separate our emotional response from the event itself. Whether the situation is favorable or unfavorable, our reactions become inseparable from it.
Emotional overwhelm manifests through various aspects, such as:
- Intense Emotional Response: This can encompass a surge of powerful emotions like anger, sadness, anxiety, or fear. These feelings can be all-encompassing, making it difficult to think clearly or rationally.
- Detachment Difficulty: It often feels impossible to detach from the situation, leaving you blind to potential solutions. This emotional response makes it hard to explore alternatives.
- Physical Symptoms: These may include an increased heart rate, shallow breathing, tension, and other physical discomfort.
- Rumination: You may constantly replay the situation, even catastrophizing it, perpetuating emotional overwhelm.
- Impact on Daily Functioning: It can disrupt your ability to focus on simple tasks, maintain healthy relationships, or even practice self-care.
Be Your Own Objective Observer
Since emotional overwhelm is a common issue for many, expect more articles on this topic in the future. Nevertheless, one of the most valuable tools for managing overwhelm is becoming an objective observer of yourself in the midst of your emotions and reactions to them.
Consider this – you are not your emotions, but you interact with them. Understanding how you do that can help you manage your emotions more effectively and ultimately find a path to a more joyful state.
Giving yourself attention is one of the most caring, loving, and courageous acts you can undertake. Why courageous? Because, in doing so, you’re not only giving attention to the pleasant aspects of your life but also to the more challenging and unattractive parts.
The Bible offers guidance with the verse, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). This verse underscores the importance of creating space for stillness and silence to better understand your inner world.
Through observation, you may discover answers and solutions to compulsive patterns that might be holding you back. In our daily lives, we readily give our attention to others and various external stimuli. We watch television, observe other people, listen to their stories, and pay attention to the world around us. We are skilled in giving our attention to everything and everyone but ourselves. It’s time to change that.
Observing Your Emotional Birds
Imagine the art of self-observation as akin to the practice of birdwatching. In this venture, even if you’ve never delved into the curious world of birdwatching, you’ll discover that the basic principles are remarkably straightforward. All you need is some space, silence, and stillness (plus a few birds).
Similar to birdwatching, the goal is not to change anything but to simply observe. It involves being there for yourself with undivided attention, listening, watching, and carefully observing your behaviors and thought patterns.
The journey of self-observation begins with the simple act of listening. Silence is a prerequisite for listening, a space where you can hear the subtle inner workings of your mind. This is how you get to know the different facets of yourself—the parts of you that aspire to overcome compulsions and those that resist change. You’ll become intimately acquainted with the parts of you that protest that change is too difficult and those that put up a fight. It’s crucial to give attention to the parts of you that resist change, as they play a pivotal role in your path to success. These resistant aspects may be holding you back from pursuing a new path, embracing a different life, exploring new opportunities, enhancing your health, and nurturing better relationships. Ironically, these are often the very things you earnestly desire but find yourself resisting. One of the best ways to understand your reactions to emotions is to eavesdrop on yourself, to become an observer.
Birds and their behaviors have long been used as metaphors for human feelings and experiences in literature and culture. Observing yourself is kind of like birdwatching, but in this case, you’re an “emo-bird” watcher.
Even if you’ve never ventured into the curious world of “emo-bird” watching, fear not; the fundamentals are surprisingly simple. All you need is some space, silence, and stillness (and maybe a couple of emotional “birds” fluttering about). If you can spot a penguin waddling or a peacock strutting its stuff, you’re well on your way to becoming a seasoned emo-bird watcher.
Picture yourself birdwatching, but the birds you’re observing are emotions. You’re not seeking to change the birds; you’re out to observe their wild and woolly behaviors. Just as you’d observe an ostrich burying its head in the sand, you must be present and observe your emotions without trying to alter them – because, let’s face it, even the most skilled emo-bird watcher can’t make a penguin fly (or for that matter, make your boss’ criticism any less irritating).
In your emo-bird-watching endeavor, you might encounter some of these emo-bird species:
- The Flamboyant Flamingo: These are flashy, loud, and impossible to ignore emotions. Just like a flamingo stands out with its vivid pink feathers, you experience a flamboyant flamingo when you’re ecstatic or angry.
- The Anxious Sparrow: Sparrows are small and often go unnoticed. This small bird symbolizes feelings of anxiety and restlessness, its quick darting movements reminiscent of anxious thoughts. Likewise, some emotions are subtle, like contentment or a tinge of jealousy. They are sly and sneak up on you when you least expect it.
- The Drama Queen Peacock: This emo-bird is recognized by its extravagant plumage and penchant for creating a spectacle. When your emotions are over-the-top and dramatic, you’re channeling your inner drama queen peacock.
- The Reluctant Penguin: Penguins are known for their waddling and occasional awkwardness. Hesitant or uncomfortable emotions make you feel like a reluctant penguin. These may be shy or uncertain feelings that cause you to stumble in social situations.
- The Flighty Hummingbird: Some emotions are fleeting and in constant motion. Their energetic wingbeats and frenetic activity represent high energy levels and reflect excitement and enthusiasm, but can also be unsettled, irritation or even territorial and aggressive.
- Joyful Jay: The Blue Jay, known for its vibrant blue plumage can represent happiness and joy. Its vibrant colors and energetic behavior reflect the emotion of joy.
- Peaceful Dove: The Dove is often associated with peace and tranquility. Its gentle cooing and graceful demeanor represent feelings of serenity and calm.
- Bold Eagle: The majestic Eagle embodies boldness and courage. Its soaring flight and commanding presence evoke the emotion of bravery and confidence.
- Melancholy Crow: The Crow, with its dark plumage and solemn cawing, is often linked to feelings of melancholy and sadness.
- Lovebirds: Lovebirds, as the name suggests, represent romantic love and affection. These small parrots are known for their strong pair bonding.
- Curious Owl: The wise and curious Owl is associated with the desire for knowledge and wisdom. It represents curiosity and the pursuit of understanding.
- Contented Robin: The Robin, known for its cheerful song and presence during spring, symbolizes contentment and a sense of well-being.
- Fierce Falcon: The Falcon is a symbol of determination and fierceness. Its focused hunting and powerful swoops relate to determination and intensity of purpose.
- Lonely Albatross: The solitary and wandering Albatross is often associated with feelings of loneliness and isolation due to its long, solitary flights over the ocean.
- Persevering Pigeon: The common Pigeon is a symbol of endurance and perseverance. It thrives in various environments and adapts to challenges.
Being with Resistance
As you practice emo-bird watching, give yourself permission to only observe. Don’t try to change them. Imagine yourself with a pair of binoculars and a field guide. Write down your observations and track them, but there’s no need to chase, catch, or alter these fascinating creatures. They are part of your emotional ecosystem, and as you watch, you will gain valuable insights into what makes you uniquely you. Later, we can discuss ways to manage emotions to better serve us.
Handling resistance is not about overpowering it, shaming it, punishing it, or distracting yourself from it. Instead, it involves creating a space for your resistance. You get to know it intimately. You give it your full attention by observing it, being with it, and listening to its whispers, just like observing birds in the wild. In fact, you approach your resistance with gentleness, understanding, and patience.
Braving a Better Life
This is a deeply personal adventure that is meant for you alone and that takes courage. Just like birdwatching, as you observe which thoughts, emotions, and behaviors create chaos and upheaval in your life, you will have data that will give insights that empower you to explore new mental and behavioral compounds that lead to different outcomes.
It is an individual pursuit, but you’re not entirely alone. You will find the parts of yourself that want to help and, I believe, even our Heavenly Father is also there, eager to support and guide us as well. Here are some relevant scripture references that might offer support.
“The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:14
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:1-4
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4